would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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