Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
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Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize