Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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