i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
