mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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