If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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