wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
