We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
