It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
