I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
