Me. At least after what I've been through.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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