JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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