I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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