worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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