You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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