It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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