Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
