In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
