you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
