tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
