if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
