it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
