I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
