I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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