lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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