I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize