Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
