scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i am craving dick and cupcakes
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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