God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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