Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
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he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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