She is in my trunk
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
