Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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