i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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