don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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