The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
