they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
