It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
