Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
