Who wears a wallet chain?!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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