I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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