So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
