craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
