Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
