whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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