I intend to get homeless drunk
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
