is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
