So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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