You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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