Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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