You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
