Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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