Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
