go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize