She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
