i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
