Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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