The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting