this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize