I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes