I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.