The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
