I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
