i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
