youre lurking in front of me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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